Let me tell you about...

my Christmas!

No, I don't have grand kids, although I think my kids are grand.. but that doesn't count...

However, I felt it prudent to delay shopping for Christmas for my husband until last Tuesday. Ask me why... I'll never know...

But I finally decided to buy what I knew he wanted two weeks before. I asked my cousin's husband (He's an Executive Chef... there's more to the story, but today - that's enough.) and he recommended the Cadillac of mandolins for my husband. (Mandolin: Food slicer [use the word food lightly and with a grain of salt... HA!]). That was an excellent decision. What happened next is one for the history books.

I had an epiphany of sorts... since I procrastinated so well, I might as well go all the way and get the "knock off" brand from "you know where". $10 bucks would do the trick and Kent would have all the mandolin he needed for Christmas day (along with at least one package to open - he only gets 1.5 per year, you know). I tucked a picture of the Cadillac into the box, wrapped it up and waited for Christmas morning where nothing is ever as it seems at the Johnson River House.

After all the excitement with three boys opening presents as slowly as they could... Kent and I leaped to the kitchen. I pulled my sous chef duties diligently until the time for the shallots. I just had to see how well it worked... If only I had stuck with the plan... Even now I pay the price twice for stepping out of line. I can't type anything correctly. This is painful. Not only that but I can't raise my arm over my head - why do Tetanus shots hurt so bad?

Now the shallots are ruined, red onions for risotto will have to do. But all is not lost, I didn't have to wash a single dish all day. I took a neighbor to the brink of passing out. I might have done so as well if I'd thought of how bad it must be for hemophiliacs... It's a scary thing to not be able to get blood to quit flowing! I spent the next 6 hours entertaining (use it loosely, we just had a great time with family and friends... we entertain each other.) my oarentsm my brither [see there it goes again. Retry: parents, my brother] and his family, and many of our neighbors (note not all!). My finger was well secured and still not going numb and not contaminating what I did touch. You'd think I'd have taken an hour or two out of the day to visit Patient's first, but that wasn't what we wanted for Christmas and it wasn't flowing freely, just when it was agitated... so I could wait until it was time to do dishes (I wouldn't be able to help anyway!) and my brother was leaving - he graciously gave me a ride to town and I listened to the silliest stories I've ever heard with my fantastic nieces!

The Dr. was amazed (lots of words to use loosely - are doctors ever amazed at people?) , perhaps dumbfounded, that I waited 7 hours to get aid for my finger tip. One glance, two pairs of gloves, a snip of the gel foam and a square if gauze later he was out of sight... When what to my wondering eyes should appear, two nurses one with gauze and tape, the other with a needle for the already ailing right side (my choice not her's). They were ganging up on me!

Not to worry. In a minute my finger was wrapped in beautiful white tubular gauze and I was on my way home.. oh wait, how did I get home? Let me tell you about my kid's Grandpa - yeah that's my dad. In the rainy, foggy, cold Christmas night he ventured out to drive me home!

This post is long enough, but I cannot end without clarifying he drove me home for the dessert that remained at my house. My neighbors cleaned the whole mess we made. I'm now stopping so I can research Kevlar gloves for our family - all five of us... we'll need it!